He's The Man

who caught my heart...

and made it go pitter-patter...

and helped me make babies...

20 years, 4 weeks, and three days ago.

He's The Man who didn't have any clean shirts because I hadn't done the laundry for two weeks.

He's The Man who, instead of becoming irritated, recognized the deer-in-the-headlights look I always get when life gets the best of me.

He's The Man who said, "why don't you just wash and dry the laundry and then bring me up the baskets and I'll fold and put it all away."

He's The Man who caught my heart again...

And made it go pitter-patter...

911

Today, amidst the chauffeuring and running of errands I listened to the radio. The station I was listening to played some segments of radio and TV broadcasts for this day 8 years ago. I started thinking of where I was.

I was in my house, very pregnant. My mom was visiting. She was there to help with the baby when he came...which would prove to be a very long wait (he was 2 1/2 weeks late). We may or may not have been doing school with the kids. The phone range. My husband ordered me to turn on the TV. I turned it on and saw the devastating site of the towers on fire. While we were talking one of them collapsed.

Today the radio personality talked about how in the months after the attack flags were seen everywhere. Patriotism was running rampant. WE WOULD NOT FORGET.

Then he talked about how over the years the flags have disappeared and people have forgotten. Until they are reminded every year on the anniversary of 911.

But does patriotism have to be a big show? Do you have to have a flag outside your home, or a flag on your car, or in your window to show your patriotism?

Patriotism: pa·tri·ot·ism noun
Date: circa 1726
:love for or devotion to one's country

I think there are a lot of people who quietly love and show devotion to their country. And there are others who aren't so quiet...like the radio personality I listened to. And I am thankful for both.

Last year I studied the Constitution in depth. I studied the Founders in depth. This year I am studying the Civil War in depth. I am grateful that I am not one who was asked to give their life for liberty.

My gratitude for all those who have given theirs runs very deep.

In Which I Don't Have To Juggle Alone

This morning I had words with my daughter. She was unhappy and that unhappiness was spread around. This was (is) a constantly occurring battle and I felt frustrated, angry, and helpless. I felt like a failure in my motherly duties. I felt the weight of the world was on my shoulders. This was yet another ball that I just could not hold onto.

I didn't want to go to church, but I went. I went with a cold, hard heart. My husband and I were not very respectful. We whispered our frustrations all during the Sacrament. Testimony meeting started and someone said, "I know this church is true." I started thinking about that phrase. What do people mean when they say, "I know this church is true"? As if that says everything! I felt cynical and judgmental. But as more testimonies were born and as people poured out their souls a little spark of an idea began to formulate in my brain and grew and expanded until it found it's way into my heart.

"I know this church is true" means that a loving Heavenly Father looks down and sees a soul that is hurting. And because he loves that person with a love that is beyond comprehension, he puts in the heart of another the truths that person needs to hear. But he doesn't stop with just one person. He keeps inspiring people to talk about the same truths until he penetrates that person's cold, hard heart. Then when the heart is softened enough he begins to whisper inspiring truths into the mind of that person. He tells that person that that person doesn't have to juggle all those balls alone. When that person gets tired of juggling balls, that person can just throw a few of them up to Him and He will hold them for awhile until that person is ready to take them on again. And if that person doesn't think she can take them on again, He says that it's ok.

He will juggle them for her.

"I know this church is true."

In Which I Can't Juggle

Several days ago I emailed a friend with a question. She never answered me. I ran into her a couple of days later and asked how she was doing. She said she felt like she had too many balls in the air and they had all fallen down. I know how she feels. My balls have all dropped and I feel like I'm trying to navigate my way through them only to find myself slipping and sliding all over the place as I step on them and they roll out from under my feet!

Balls in the air:

Prepare for and teach Civil War class
Prepare for and teach Finance class
Prepare for and teach various other school subjects to children
Must find tutor
Fill out charter school paperwork
Fill out private school paperwork
Change mind on charter school
Fill out new charter school paperwork
Prepare for and teach Webelos scouts
Chauffer kids to various places
Make sure college tuition is paid
Make sure books are bought
Money is flying out of my pocket like a rocket ship
Work up chore schedule
Work up school schedule
Shop for new bike
Keep up with scripture reading
Try to keep FHE interesting
Try to organize house
Fail
Try again
Be happy that the silverware drawer is in order
Fix computer
Keep kids off computer
Keep self off computer
Laundry
Laundry
Laundry

Sometimes I wish I were a pioneer and all I had to do was walk.
Except, I know...they really didn't have it easy.

OK then, I wish I were a character in a Jane Austen novel.
I'd be a gentleman's daughter with a rich dowry and a dashing husband.
That's really my favorite era...I love the dresses and fancy balls and beautiful houses.

Sometimes I wish I were a bird and could just soar above all my bouncing balls.

Sometimes I wish my kids would come home on time so I didn't have to stay up so late thinking of all the balls that are dropping.

Oh! Wish granted!

Goodnight!

I HAVE GREAT NEWS!!!

But I can't tell you what it is yet as I have been sworn to secrecy...but I'm so excited I'm bursting!

And here is my afternoon schedule:

2-pick up J1,C from college
3-pick up S from work
3:30-take S to volleyball
4-leave for Reno to eat ribs!!!!

Wait...while I'm eating ribs, who's going to do all this?:

5-pick up J3 from friends house
5-pick up C from college
5:30-pick up S from volleyball
5:45-take S & E to drama
6:15-pick up C
6:45-pick up S & E from drama
7-take C to drama
9-pick up C from drama


I need a chauffeur.

I love ribs.

Which is why I am so excited about tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will be here.

Life is good.

Too bad you moved away Mike.

I'm just sayin...