with the invention of texting, the English language is deteriorating.
So... my 13 year old daughter was using my cell phone today and this is what I found in my text messages when I got it back from her. She was having a 'conversation' with my 17 year old daughter.......
No your face.
Your face doesn't have a freakin kidney.
Well ur face is a dried up racoon with one eye walking down a alley with a flower singing "think of me".
Well your face is a dead snake on a trycicle and the trycicle is in the middle of kuntucky...
Your face has a purple banana growing out the side of it.
And ur face is a dead owl...
Your face has the chicken pox.
Your face has the meesles.
Your face can't spell.
Your face can't sing.
Your face can't dance.
Ah, yes. These is my girls! I actually edited some of the insults as they got to be a little morbid. It was all in good natured fun, and I laughed my head off while I was reading them, but I couldn't help thinking that perhaps they could have done better, after all they have both taken a couple of years of Shakespeare and if your going to insult, you need only look to the master of insults for inspiration. Perhaps the 'conversation' might have gone something like this:
And in thy brain which is as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage, thou hath strange places.
Well, you are the must chaff, and you are smelt above the moon.
Ha! I was seeking for a fool when I found you.
Yeah, well, four of thy five wits went halting off, and now is thy whole person governed with one.
Well, you lisp and wear strange suits.
And you are a most pathetical nit.
Watch out, thou art winding the watch of thy wit, by and by it will strike.
Well, "More of [this] conversation would infect my brain" so I think I'll sign off for now. And you might want to "Weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain"!