Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
~O. Henry, The Gifts of the Magi
It seems like the beginning of every school year for me is met with lots of sniffles. I lay awake at night and the demons begin coming out. The ones who play before my eyes all the past mistakes that I have made over the past year (and all the other ones before as well). The ones who taunt me with all the things I left unfinished last year. The ones who remind me of every little wrong thing I did and every little perceived wrong thing that was done to me. The ones who show me all the problems that I need to find a solution for.
It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.
I try to buoy myself up and combat them by trying to think of all the good things about myself. I try to think happy thoughts, but sometimes they overwhelm me, those nagging, pesky demons. They pick at me with little barbs, they show me little things that really shouldn't bug me.
Sometimes the littlest things in life are the hardest to take. You can sit on a mountain more comfortably than on a tack.
I know that all the things I am going through are things that I need to experience in order to become the best person I can become. I know that because of the person I have become, and I have so much more empathy for people because of what I have gone through. I know all this, and yet...
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.